OK so recently i switched off my phone, put away the mac, didn't play any music. I stopped. I wanted to find out what God was up to.. see what he is doing in the heart of the nations but also in my heart and this is what i found.
Do i dare to bare all before God?can i? or will something always be held back?Does he really love me that much?YES!
I am on the cusp of something TRULY BEAUTIFUL, so why am i holding back? Shame? Anguish?Indecision?Trust?Love?what is love?God? God is love, that i know for sure, a love that is seamless, endless, without withering. It will flower if i learn to accept it, and it will prosper and envelop me.Do i love?Do i know how?How do i go about loving someone when i know they will always be better at it?i guess its like buying a Christmas present for the person who has everything??There is always love though, to give, share and receive.
How can i sit back and let god love me?Surely i have to do something in return?find a way of loving him back? a new way of expressing it?but how?and what if I'm not so full of love that i want to explode??is that worth less? NO!
By loving each other we are loving god in some way, by just being together, supporting each other, being held up by those around you because you cant do it on your own. that's love, right there, in the hearts of those people prepared to sacrifice something in themselves to hold you up. A small selfless act that speaks volumes about love, compassion and community, we will never be able to know, to truly know the extent that god loves us, how vast and wide it is, or just how much he does for us everyday! but in small selfless acts we can give a little bit back, just a tiny piece of our hearts every now and then. because one day you will give away the last piece of yourselves and your heart over to him. maybe that's when we will know true love? maybe that's when we will know love without expectation or end. Because what i do know now is that gods love does not end, it is like a tree planted by streams of water that bears its fruit in the season.fruit that in the very darkest moments we can share in together, and that my friends is what i believe to be love.
